Thrice Relaxation
by kyhplz
Summary: With BLU defeated, RED earns three days of relaxation. What do they do during those three days? T for drinking


DISCLAIMER: All Characters belong to valve, I no own. (No matter how much I want to)

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There was a great victory for team RED. They had taken out the entire team BLU and now had three days entirely to themselves. While they couldn't leave the base lest something happen, there were plenty of things to do in the base.

For one, the Demoman had deemed it a good time to bring out the alcohol.

And so, on the first night, everyone started drinking.

Since it was his first time actually drinking something as strong as whisky in a while, the Scout took it slow, only having a sip here or a sip there, but eventually went past the point of no return.

Others on the other hand, such as the Soldier and Demoman, were downing the alcohol like a human in the desert that just found an oasis. The Pyro had taken his mask off for the occasion, and was drinking just as powerfully as anyone. However, the man seemed slightly more contained, even when drunk, than the others. The Heavy was basically chugging his vodka, while singing in a random, off-beat voice. The Engineer had a beer in one hand and was making gestures with the other while telling a story.

The Medic was acting the strangest of them all. He drank enough to compete with the Demo, but was twirling about the room, singing songs in German, and at one time even asked everyone if they wanted to play ring around the rosy. The Sniper was about average, but was also drinking pure scotch mixed with black coffee, slurring about his `adventures` in the outback, hunting for dangerous game and such. The Spy had taken to the expensive wine in the corner, camping it with ferocity while not daring to let anyone else touch it. His cigarettes lay discarded on the floor, exchanged for fine wine and beer among other mouth-watering 'delicacies'.

"As I was sayin'," The Engineer shouted over all the commotion, standing up from his seat on the couch while swaying side to side, "When I was a li- Hey, who's touching mah beer?" In mid-sentence, the Engineer had discovered his beloved drink was no longer in his possession. Scanning the room, he finally found the can right next to him. Picking it up and downing the remaining contents, he crumpled the empty can up and threw it, but ended up hitting the Medic square on the head.

Said doctor began crying like a baby. Gasping like a mother, the Heavy ran next to 'his' doctor's side and picked him up.

"Is ok. Just bobo." The Heavy grabbed the can off the floor and handed it to the Medic, who wiped the tears from his eyes and threw the can back at the Engineer, who growled when it somehow became lodged in his mouth when he was talking. "Better now?" Heavy asked. The Medic sniffed and nodded, hugging the Heavy's huge neck. Heavy laughed heartily, placing Medic back on the ground.

"Doktor want beer?" The Medic laughed giddily, clapped his hands and nodded, a huge grin adorning his face. The drunk Russian laughed again, handing the German a just-opened can of beer.

"Dontcha think the good doctor's had 'nuff beer? He's gunna be wailin in pain tomorrow!" The Demoman cried, waving his bottle 'o 'Scrumpy' around to prove his point. "Who's gunna be takin care 'f us tomorrow, f'not 'im?" Everyone paused, thinking it over.

"We can take care of our- Hurkk!" In mid-sentence, the Soldier leaned over the couch and threw up all over the floor.

"Merde..." The Spy mumbled, taking another sip of his wine.

"Ughh," The Soldier mumbled, lazily wiping off some stray bile with his red sleeve. "As I was sayin, we can take care of ourselves just fine!" The Scout raised an eyebrow and laughed sarcastically.

"Me maybe, I haven't drank nearly as much as you dopes. But look at all of you! To put it nicely, you're shitfaced."

"We've all been drunk before, boyo. 'Ave you?" The Scout rolled his eyes and nodded.

"'M drunk right now, Cyclops. Cantcha' tell?" Pyro and Sniper both laughed, shaking their heads.

"Hard to tell, mate. I mean, look at you! You ain't even swayin' yet!" Scout threw his head back laughing.

"I don't sway when I'm drunk." He laughed deviously, downing the rest of his whiskey. "More like I become a big fat hunk of testosterone. So if you know what's good for ya, you guys better lock your doors tonight. Or else, you may not have any pants in the morn." The Pyro laughed once again.

"You are gay, me amigo?" The Heavy laughed once more, then shrugged, face suddenly serious.

"Not big surprise." Scout laughed, hard, and shook his head.

"When it moves, if I'm drunk, it'll be fucked. Male or female, flesh or metal. I don't care." The Scout smirked, laughing.

"An when you ain't drunk? Men only?" The Sniper inquired.

"Ehh, depends. Every time I've had sex I've been drunk." He shrugged, pouring himself another glass of whisky.

"Yet yer only 23, and have been in this dump fer a few months now. You ain't had much practice, have ya?"

The Scout laughed sarcastically.

"Dude, I grew up in south Boston. Been drinkin' since I was twelve. Gone with the wind since I was like fourteen." The Soldier murmured a 'dumbass' and glared at the scout, while everyone else laughed and drank more.

It was after a few moment's pause when the Soldier spoke up again.

"So why aren't you trying to fuck us right now?" Scout laughed, shook his head, and took another sip of whiskey.

That marked the end of that conversation, and marked the beginning of another.

Soon enough, everyone drank so much that they passed out.

Including the Scout. But not before splashing a bit of beer on everyone's pants.

Just for gags.

... and maybe he took a peek or two. But he won't tell anyone that.

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A/N: So, I wrote this on a whim. As stated, RED has three, non-fighting days to themselves. Not sure how this is going to work, update-wise, but... I'm going to have fun writing this.

Also, if anyone wants to beta me, I'd really like it.

So... this is my first-second (first to publish, second to write) TF2 fanfic and I'm just trying to work out the personalities and such right now. I'm used to writing much more depressing stuff so do expect suicide in the future : /

As for the other TF2 fanfic I'm writing, it's borderlining 5000 words with no end in sight. I'd like to show it to some people, first, before I publish it though. If you wanna see it, feel free to message me.

Ah... I think that's all I need to say. I'm aware that this chapter is royally short, and I promise to work on the length a bit as the story progresses. I'm guessing possibly five or six chapters are in store. (One for a morning, an evening, morning, evening, then morning when BLU's reinforcements return.)


End file.
